Learning to BE and not always DO - reflections after returning to run after Long Covid symptoms

If I don’t have running anymore I’d be ok. 

Is a place I got myself to during my recent hiatus from running following Covid and some long Covid symptoms that resulted. 

I mean this in the healthiest way possible and this is probably the biggest win and lesson learned from this time off running. 

Honestly I had gotten myself to a ridiculously calm state overall earlier this year. Probably the most calm I’ve ever been in my life during that time. 

As I’ve started to run and exercise again I’ve felt a bit more anxious and haven’t felt as much of that calmness as before, although I’m keeping the tools I used during that time. 

At first I was like maybe I’m not ready to go back to exercise. But as I’ve returned more and more my perspective is that the calmness I felt came from a place of just being able to BE.

Not needing to BE BETTER every given moment. Be training for the next race, not increasing my fitness, not meeting my next business goal as for the first few months after Covid I couldn’t take on any new clients, so no where to prove my worth through there either, not through fitness, business, new friendships or even new activities as I didn’t have too much energy for much. 

But I was given the opportunity to just BE and find contentment in BEING not DOING. 

This is where I feel the uneasiness is coming from as I return to exercise again and showing up in my business as I was before. Full of goals again. 

I’ve had mixed feelings about my return. Feeling a bit uneasy about DOING again, scared of getting lost in the DOING again and forgetting to BE. Falling trap to the American hustle and grind that so many runners, entrepreneurs, and PTs run into. Because I want to BE more and not always DOING.

I would never want to lose running permanently and I’m not asking for that at all. But this time off running gave me a totally new perspective. Some lessons I’ve learned from injuries in the past but this time I could barely do anything active at all so this time off was on a whole new level.

It truly gave me the opportunity to see life through a different perspective. I’ll continue to slowly return to my prior fitness levels but while also trying to keep and find that state of insane calmness, no need for improvement through anything, just BEING. 

So here’s to my BEING, to your BEING, to being more than DOING